We’ve made it to another year … happy 2018! With a new year comes new resolutions and lessons of things we either want to take with us or leave behind. Here are 8 lessons I’m taking into 2018 with me.
Stop dreaming/wishing/praying
In the words of Loc Dog (Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood reference), “Dreams are for suckas!”.
You can have ALL the pennies in the world to throw in a wishing well, you can make prayer after prayer and have dream after dream, but without the action behind those thoughts, that’s all they will remain … dreams, hopes, and prayers.
Put some effort behind those thoughts. Write them down, create a plan, then take action. You should have big plans for yourself and with that comes fear upon seeing just how much there is to accomplish, but don’t let that fear hold you back.
Instead of praying for that end goal, pray for the strength and guidance to continue on, jot down those dreams, then get up and start chipping away at that ‘to do’ list.
Start saying, “NO!”
You don’t have to agree to everything or appease everyone. If you don’t have time for something, or it’s simply not for you, respectfully pass on it and keep it moving.
In the end, people will respect you more for respectfully declining up front, rather than expecting something to be completed that you simply don’t have time for. You also open yourself up to doing those things that are more intentional for you.
‘No’ is not a dirty word, it is a word that is perfectly acceptable to use when you’ve been solicited for something that is not right for you.
Stop Being a Victim
We teach people how to treat us with the way we respond to situations they put us in.
The world owes you nothing and quite frankly, no one owes you anything … period. Stop finding other people to blame things on and own your life.
As we learned from the #metoo movement of 2017, one ripple can make HUGE waves, but you have to be an advocate for yourself and regain your sense of control, hope, and self-esteem in order to pick up and move on with your life in a way that benefits you and takes you out of victim mode.
That example was a little more extreme, but this extends to everyday issues as well and if you feel you were wronged, you have the option to let it go Elsa style or do something about it in a productive manner.
Your waiter is ignoring you? Leave or ask to be re-seated in another section, but don’t spend the entire dining experience complaining about it because this does nothing other than inconvenience you, while they’re unbothered.
Know your worth
This directly relates to not being a victim. No one is going to know your worth if you don’t even know what it is.
All too often, people blame others for all the wrongs in their life without taking any accountability for the things that are happening, but when you don’t understand your value, you will go for less every time.
The energy you give off and the confidence you exude are what attract people to you, which is why self-care and self-love are so vital.
You have to build a relationship with yourself in order to get to know what it is you want, desire, and need to make you happy. Fall in love with yourself, realize how valuable and worthy you truly are, then seek that out with the people you bring into your life.
Understand your value, know your worth, and demand it … period.
Stop explaining yourself
Jim Carrey actually has MANY quotes that I aspire to, but for the purpose of this lesson, we’re sticking to just one: “You stop explaining yourself when you realize people only understand from their level of perception”.
This is like the holy grail of advice.
SO often, whether it be a heated argument or simple conversation, we find it necessary to debate our point, to the point of going round and round in circles, beating a dead horse, when the other person simply is not going to get where we are coming from.
All the hypothetical situations and evidence in the world just isn’t enough for some people when there’s a lack of empathy and comprehension on their behalf. Some people simply hear to respond, rather than hear to listen, and their comprehension only expands as far as their level of perception.
Stop wasting your breath.
Be direct
While the ability to read minds would be an awesome superpower, skills such as that only exist in the world of movies and comics.
Being passive aggressive is not cute, it’s childish and even that isn’t accurate as children seem to be very forthcoming with their thoughts.
Don’t say one thing, then hope the other party will read through your bs to get down to what you truly are trying to convey to them … say what you mean and mean what you say.
Stop letting people drain your life force
In a perfect world, we would be able to use our light to brighten the darkness in others, but in reality, all that effort simply dims our light.
I don’t mean situations where someone is having a bad day and needs some uplifting, I mean people who ALWAYS seem to be having a bad day and make it a point to dump this negative energy on you.
Stop devoting your time and energy to those who care to do nothing more than bring you down to their level of misery. You can’t change anyone, they can only choose to change themselves, and in the meantime, you’re teaching them that you’re willing to be their toilet and accept getting crapped on time and time again.
Like Kelly Clarkson said, “Just walk away”.
Live intentionally
While taking a SoulCycle class recently, the instructor said something that really struck a cord for me, “Stop being disappointed with your life by the things you see on Instagram … we choose what we put out to the world”.
While I don’t feel disappointed per se, I do get the occasional ‘Gram envy when I’m sitting at my desk during my day job and see a full-time blogger on a fabulous trip that is work AND enjoyable for them, knowing it’s something I’m aspiring to.
It reminded me that I can choose to have that envy or I can be happy for them and their successes while living my life in a way that works with what I currently have while working towards what I truly want.
We have to define our purpose in this world, set goals for those things we want, and work towards the life we want for ourselves and our children.
Making purposeful decisions on a day to day, minute by minute, second by second basis will set us on the path to living more intentionally and putting out into the world what it is we’re wanting to convey.
